cultural cannon fodder

the company that i work for depends a lot upon door to door sales. you see many houses that try to deter the sales and marketing of products in their home. what is interesting is that litterally 40% of the homes that we do have "no soliciting" on their front doors or in close proximity to the door in open view.

it warmed my heart to see this sign in front of the house almost mocking the customer. yes, one of my employees got passed the barrier and convinced them to become hipocrates of their own making.

usually, it doesnt even phase me now to see that sign and laugh at the irony. well, today phased me. i was touched to see the sign give an exception to wonderful cute, tasty, and cuddly girl scouts selling their treats to overweight americans. please america, if anything, lets not hinder the girl scouts from selling cookies to earn that one special patch or pin. they deserve it.

my eyes were opened to a whole new world, thanks to nathaniel from dijital kulchar. this new innovation kept nathaniel and myself up way too late last nite checking out government lands, looking for the missle silo doors and secret bunkers. the fbi is onto us now. if i end up missing here in a few days, blame nathaniel.

so here it is folks, go to earth.google.com. download it. now all areas are availible yet. the areas that have a brownish tint are most assured to be detailed. the greener areas are still not detailed. sorry metamora illinois (my hometown), you arent detailed yet. maybe google could get on that asap.

check out the interesting details they cover up in washington dc. if you can find area 51, please let me or nathaniel know. have fun.

also, if anyone can name the famous beach in the pic, you win. what do you win? the pride in knowing you know what it is.

ok, so i am the last person to recommend questionaires (http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=23320), but when it intriques me to no end, i tend to advertise it. here is my results. it categorizes you based on ideals. the breakdown is as follows. please dont tell my LDS bishop this states i shy from organized religion. it would ruin my reputation at church.


Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational.

Cultural Creative
69%
Modernist
69%
Postmodernist
63%
Idealist
50%
Materialist
44%
Romanticist
44%
Existentialist
38%
Fundamentalist
19%

i would be interested to know where everybody else falls into. please feel free to post after taking the short quiz. for all those interested, the pic is of me participating in organized religion (playing dressup as a catholic priest). hope it doesnt offend anyone too much.

i am without a huge burden.

well, at least without compact disks in my vehicle now.

i cannot tell you the relief i feel to no longer drag around cd's in my truck. thanks to technology, i now use my ipod through my cd receiver in leiu of the pioneer CD-IB100. wow. instead of searching though countless sleeves and folders for the right song or cd, i now have it all within my reach. i dont even have to scroll through the ipod, it is controlled in the stereo.

imagine, if you will, all the crap i can now stow in place of cd players. fruit, extra hats, whatever i want. the sky's the limit. now i just have to get eyun from popscoff to make those see through pockets, and then life will be perfect.

saturday evening on my way home from work, i witnessed an accident. i was directly behind the car and pedestrian involved. man was it sweet.

so this dude, arms full of thos fruit smoothies and burgers ran between cars at a red light. as he zig zagged through the three lanes, he crossed in front of a huge delivery truck, getting ready to cross the right hand turn lane.

anyway, he darted faster than a fat dude at an all-you-can-eat-buffet (seriously, those people can move when it comes to food). because we were turning right and traffic was busy, you generally dont see whats going on between the lanes. there is also a spot for pedestrians to cross, but he decided to cross about 20 feet before the blessed white lines.

as a driver, you generally dont expect someone to dart out in that particular spot. its expected to at least pause and or stop before the white lines just in case a pedestrian or cyclist is around. i will be honest, i care more for cyclists than pedestrians. there, i said it.

back to the story. so this dude, a salesrep for audi just ran across the street, crossing the right turning lane, and running right into the car in front of me. it was rather spectacular the scene i witnessed. burgers and smoothies went everywhere like a pinata exploding. the road, the dude, and the car. oh man, the car, inside and out. it was 107 that day, really hot and dry. the car in front was an older ford taurus (maybe they were headed to the audi dealership) with all the windows down.

the dude (he has been and always will be called the dude) broke the windshield and side view mirror of the ford, rolled across the hood, and then dropped to the ground on the other side of the vehicle. he screamed while holding his smoothie soaked arm, "why the F#@* did you hit me!"

now this is where i have an opinion. the dude hit the car. given, the car took a hit, but this dude was completely in the wrong, and still found it convenient to fault find. wow. the passenger got out, looking back at me, saying, "you saw it, right? he came out of nowhere!" i nodded in agreement, laughing.

the police came to the audi parking lot, took down our stories, and then told me i could go. i swear, that dude never once said he was at fault. his biggest complaint was that he saw the ford coming, but that they didnt slow down. i would never have hit him for the simple reason that i had just washed my truck.

by the way, the pic is of me in guaymas mexico making pinatas with my friend carlos. kaboom!

we all know that truck drivers are going to hell, right? its common knowledge that ever sense ac/dc and the film maximum overdrive combined to create one hell of a duo, that truckers are on a highway to hell. sick, pure sick.

ok, a while back, i had the day from hell. guess i better get used to it since i am going there for this posting.

yep, you guessed it right, golf was involved. i guess i just didnt have jesus at my side to guide my hand (and my club). i wouldnt want to be there with the attitude i was frontin on the back nine either. that made me think, how sweet would it be to have jesus as your caddy?

ok, i went too far with that comment, and i apologize to everyone (especially Him) for my ignorance. but hey, you have to admit, it would be nice to have that extra power over all to help when that slice is headed for the water hazzard and you teed off with your nice nike black one ball (its the same one tiger uses). if your putt was a little off, the ground would rise and form a valley for the ball to roll though and then plunk, the ball drops into the hole for birdie. notice i didnt say hole in one, that would be asking too much, way too much.

while shopping (or while i was a customer at wal-mart), i ran across this shirt on the rack in the mens section. the color, size, and price caught my eye faster than you can say shallow grave.

shallow grave.

for $5.76, you, a customer at wal-mart can purchase a shirt that says: 100% red blooded american. while the price is excellent, the size is even better. all they had was 3x.

imagine if you will, a man, size 3x, wearing this shirt. now, picture him with a beer in one hand, the remote control in the other, sitting on his sweat stained sofa (lets give him the credit that he is a non-smoker). now that is sexy.

now the next image is of the demographics that are seen most commonly in wal-mart stores. how many red blooded americans do you see? i seldom see very many native americans shopping in wal-marts across the nation. mostly, i see a diverse crowd of hispanics, african americans, asians, and caucasions that derive from european decent. nope, not too many red blooded americans here.

i made a comment to the nearest sales associate that i felt the shirt was offensive, and she then motioned to an english speaking manager to talkwith, as her english was less that effective to communicate. the manager said the shirt was a 4th of july promotion, celebrating our nations birthday, and if i had a problem, i should write the company.

its a hell of a deal though, $5.76 is a dang cheap price!

ok, so i wasnt on the up and up when it came to blogging. actually, i think i was much towards the end result when it came to starting a blog. one thing that has blown my mind now is pod casting. for all those who are involved in the ipod culture, you might know what i am talking about. for those outsiders, listen up.

podcasting (headlined by adam curry) is a recorded show that is sent to ipods who are subscribed to their service. sometimes its free. i have yet to see one charge for the shows yet, but i feel it coming on soon.

you subscribe to a show and listen to them rant, rave, tell jokes (not all of them clean and tasteful), and pretty much do whatever they want. fcc has no boundaries here. most of the shows are rather dull and without much plot or planning, however, some of the shows are just copied data from the news stations. you can download old news...how convenient.

anyway, i have downloaded a few and find it for the most part entertaining. so for all those who are interested, go buy an ipod (easier said than done) and check it out.